It has been fast and slow, this process of becoming a mother. I entered the mom club the day we found out we were expecting. But it has taken awhile to soak in and become part of the essence of who I am. This type of love has changed me to the core. I am forever grateful for it.
I knew I was changing last Christmas Eve, when I saw a preview for that movie about saving the whales, and wept . . . because mamas feel intensely for underdogs and the weak.
I knew it when I became a fiercely protective big sister for my two grown brothers . . . because family bonds tightened.
I felt mama love when my little girl had trouble gaining weight for the first two weeks . . . and I had anxiety that kept me up at night.
I thought that I was really her mama the first time she clutched me instead of willingly going to another . . . because I am her #1 person.
It has slowly sunk in as she has been saying “MaMaMa,” that this is my new identity . . . this is my name just between the two of us forever.