My little girl has some important calls to make… “hiyo!”
Can I be honest? I hate talking on the phone, with the exception of my mom and my husband.
Thanks to one of the books I just read, I finally realized why…
- The phone is a “bossy” form of technology, interrupting whatever I’m working on, thinking about, or doing. Introverts have a skill of intense focus, so the noise and disruption make us instantly defensive and antsy.
- As an introvert, I take longer to process and respond. But pauses aren’t acceptable in phone conversations, so one of us is compelled to fill the silence.
- This leads to a lot of chit-chat. I gravitate towards more purposeful, deep conversations, so small talk can be draining – unless the relationship feels authentic and solidified (like my two exceptions above).
- It is hard to hang up. Unless I have a valid reason, phone chats can meander along without any clear ending. What would take two sentences in an email can turn into a 20 minute phone call.
My friend, Jessi, always says that we need to teach people how to interact and engage with us – and how we will respond. As a teacher, I always asked parents to email me. I responded more quickly and thoroughly than I could thinking on my feet during a phone call.
I have learned that for family + friends that live far-away, I love using FaceTime or Skype. I relate so much better when I can see facial expressions and pauses are more acceptable. It feels completely different than a phone call.
A 2008 Nielson survey said that cell-phone users were sending more text messages than making phone calls. It is a less-bossy form of communication, and texts can be straight to the point.
Apparently, 90% of introverts feel the same way about the phone. I’d love to invite you to read my ebook “I Like People Too: A Field Guide for Introverts.” It covers some biology about the brain and psychology of introverts, the strengths of introversion, how to use those strengths to your benefit in relationships and work, and even, how to enjoy a big events, like weddings, parties, or conferences.