Writing on this space and in general has been a struggle lately, and my pregnancy is undoubtedly the cause. My creative juices seem to be sucked into creating this tiny life, which is no small feat, leaving my brain a little scattered. Feeling and seeing tiny kicks has made the last few weeks especially sweet for me.
My husband asked me last night if I loved the baby, and I have to say in this vague, protective, quiet way – my love has been building. This is the time when I’m closest to the baby, and I’m the only person who really knows him.
At the same time, I’ve been aware of the booming, throbbing, HUGE love I feel for my daughter, this past month especially. This is utterly crazy, but she is the most beautiful girl on the planet. No contest. I only have eyes for her. That is crazy mama-thinking, but it’s the truth in my head. I can’t wrap my mind around how she is changing and how much my love has exploded in just one year.
To think about this love happening with a new baby makes my head and heart spin. Is that even possible to love so much?
All this to say… I’m in a season of storing up. Storing up moments, dreams, feelings, loves, and treasuring them all. I can’t seem to summon words for any of it when I try. What creative energy I do have has been diverted to researching and teaching a class, gardening, and writing over on The Influence Blog.
Although there hasn’t been much here, I’m not abandoning this space. While I’ve tried to consistently post 3 times a week, I’m grateful to not be beholden to this blog. I’m grateful to feel the grace in not rushing the words.
In the meantime, Instagram seems to be one thing I can keep up with, so feel free to stay in touch over there during a somewhat quieter blog season.