I love wearing sweats. I do not love the sweats feeling. I have always been a girl who relished getting into cozy clothes the minute I got home from high school, college, work. I love wearing leggings and a sweatshirt (the kind that is beyond soft on the inside) on a Saturday morning in the same way I love drinking my coffee from a white mug and not a travel cup. There’s something so delicious about being home.
The problem has developed now that I stay home, work from home, and my whole job is my home. That’s when I’ve started to run into this sweats feeling. The one where you feel as sloppy as the sweats you’ve been wearing for the last 48 hours and definitely slept in, then rolled out of bed without a second glance. This yuck feeling isn’t just tied to my clothes, but also taking the time to brush my teeth and shower. Those things feel like luxuries, not necessities, some (most) days.
I don’t want to be this girl. The one who is complaining about motherhood stealing her style and sense of self. I don’t want to be the one blaming my busy-ness for my loss of beauty and femininity. Last year, self care was one of my 5 big goals, and it was an abysmal failure. I spent most of the year feeling overspent, stressed, and worn down.
But it’s one of my 2 goals this year, because there’s hope. Because I can wake up a few minutes earlier to shower. I can schedule time to work out. I get to pick out an outfit to wear and have a closet brimming with clothes to put on my back. Back when Evelyn was about 9 months old, I had found a good rhythm for these things. Then we found out I was pregnant again. And for the past two years, I haven’t been making any of it a priority. I let it all slide because I was pregnant, then I was nursing, then I had two under two. Now I’m none of those things. Tommy doesn’t spit up on me, and Evie doesn’t always have jam-hands. It’s time for the sweats feeling to go.
This is my anthem. Who’s with me?