As crazy as it sounds, now that the third trimester has rolled around, I have just started to wrap my head around the fact that our family is growing again. This pregnancy really took me by surprise and has felt harder than the first two in a lot of ways. I spent most of the early months mentally fighting the fact that I was pregnant. Pregnancy is a long ten month road, and I wasn’t prepared to start climbing that mountain again. I had planned on a spring and summer of gardening, activities, and lots of energy to spend on Evie and Tommy. However, all my body wanted to do was sleep, sleep, sleep, and eventually I had to just give in.
With each pregnancy, I marvel at the way my body can grow and support this delicate new life without any conscious thought or direction from me. It has always been such a clear pointer that God is a creator. But growing a baby is a full time job, and this time around my crazy fatigue stretched all the way to 21 weeks and has shown up again in the past couple of weeks. Thankfully, at the gestational diabetes test last week (which was negative), my doctor found that I am anemic, which may be causing the fatigue. I’m hoping some iron supplements help me to get some energy back!
The absolute best part about this third baby is how excited and curious Evelyn and Thomas are about the baby. We’ve been talking a lot about the baby and reading books and practicing taking care of their baby dolls. Evie still refers to the baby as “her” and “she,” even after we found out it is a boy. She had her heart pretty set on a sister. But she is so excited to help with pacifiers and bottles and holding her little brother. She still likes to give my stomach and her baby brud-brud kisses. Thomas has been waffling between being a big boy and a baby. He is my little sweetheart, so I hope his world isn’t too shaken up when this new little guy shows up.
We still don’t have a name picked out. It’s nice that we have all the baby gear, and only need to buy a couple things. I’m not super nervous about the birth or newborn parenting. Feeling more relaxed about all of that is definitely nice. But we are in the thick of tricky parenting with our older two, so I’m sure that will keep us busy. Fingers crossed, I think we figured out how to fit three carseats across our backseat We were hoping to avoid upgrading to a minivan, because it wouldn’t fit in our garage. There’s no plan for a nursery, since the baby will stay in a basinet in our room for a few months and then (hopefully) move into the crib in Tommy’s room.
Nesting started really early this time around. There were a few weeks when I had a big burst of energy, so I pulled out all the baby clothes bins from our basement and organized them into drawers. I’ll wash them all a little closer to my due date, but it made me so excited to see those teeny tiny outfits. There’s something super sweet about clothes passed down from older siblings. We have a few things that all three of our kids will have worn, and I could get weepy just thinking about it.
Speaking of weepy, I always get a little embarrassed by how emotional I can be when I’m pregnant. This past week I had a couple meltdowns after the Influence Conference, mostly because I just don’t feel like myself. I like to feel strong, confident, capable; often when I’m pregnant I feel weak, dependent, and soft. I know in my head that pregnancy is a different kind of strength, that women are incredibly powerful to handle all the hormones and changes, not to mention the birth. But somehow that gets twisted in my head, because the raging hormones remind me of how I felt as a teenage girl – a little erratic and out of control. The only difference between that teenage girl and 30 year old me is I know how great normal feels. And I miss it.
So, we’re all kind of in a holding patt ern until December. I’m pretty curious about how close to Christmas this baby will show up. I was induced either on or after my due date for the first two, so I have no expectations that the baby will be coming early. Zach has been a champ helping me in general, and tackling a list of house projects that will make the winter a little more cozy to hibernate in our house with this new little one. As much as I don’t love all the pregnancy symptoms, I really, really love snuggling with a newborn and starting the road to getting my body and mental self back. Can’t waitto see how this new little boy fits into our family.